Kadence Madison Rodriguez

        
Hello my beautiful angel! I can't believe it's been three months today since you've been in Heaven with your new angel friends. Everyday without you is so hard for me. I have been trying so hard to be strong. There are just those days where all I want to do is cry! Today was hard cause I was really emotional for the fact that it's been three months since you got called to be with God, I'm in a lot of pain from my tooth, and a lot of pain in my heart!
Your daddy, uncle Freddie, auntie Camille, grandma Cindy and I went down to see the progress on your uncles house and we all saw a beautiful white dove. It flew towards us and then went and sat on the wall by your uncles house. We all new that very moment that that beautiful dove was you, coming to say Hi and let us know you were with us. Not a day, hour, or minute goes by that I don't think of you. You are and always will be with me until the day I die. I can't wait till that day where I can hold you forever and give you all the kisses I want. Watch over us all. Protect us and give us strength. I love you my beautiful angel. Lots of hugs and kisses. Till we are together again you will always be in my dreams and prayers. Muah XOXOX!

Good night my sweet angel, sleep well on those white fluffy clouds of yours. Visit us in our dreams and throughout the days!
Today was your nina's birthday make sure to give her lots of hugs and kisses, and whisper Happy Birthday in her ear. Also look after your cousin Lilly. She got a little burned by coffee and it really freaked her out. Help her mommy be strong and calm so Lilly can be calm. Watch over your big sister also. She has been sick with a fever, send her your love and hold her in your arms with your beautiful angel wings. Give your daddy and I strength to make it through our rough days. Help us to be more patient with your brother. Watch over him as well. Guide him in the right direction. Could you also guide your uncle Sean in the right direction as well. Let him know we all love and care for him deeply. We love you very much and can't wait till we can hold you in our arms again and never let you go. Until till that glorious day, you will and shall ever remain in our hearts, thoughts, dreams, voice, and prayers. Sweet dreams, sleep tight , and we love you! Sending you lots of hugs and kisses muah!

Hello baby girl, hope your having a fun filled day with all your beautiful friends. This picture reminded me of your funeral. When we all went outside and let go of the balloons for you. You were laying there in those big, white, fluffy clouds, smling down at us! There will be many more balloons to come baby girl! I just got off of work and the first thing I had to do was come see your beautiful face on your beautiful page. I want your Daddy to get me the Blackberry Storm phone so I can be on it all day! Well I just want to let you know that I'm always thinking of you and I love and miss you so much. Watch over us all. Keep us safe and warm this winter. Give us strength and guidance for each day. I love you momacita, big hugs and kisses! Muah XOXOX!

Good night precious angel, may you dream of mommy holding you and giving you lots of eskimo kisses. I hope you had a fun filled day with all your angel friends. I have been having a lot of rough days. Every where I go there is a tiny baby, that reminds me of you. And it's not far that they get to enjoy their new baby. I want to be able to show you off and brag on how much you have accomplished. I still show you off to the world, that is one of the reasons why I created this page. I can't believe in three more days its going to be Thanksgiving. Really what do I have to thank him for! I guess I shouldn't say that, because I should be thankful for having the rest of my family. It's just not the same without you. I really really needed you in my life physically. You of coarse will always be in my life, right in my heart and mind. I was just so looking forward to watching you grow up into a beautiful woman, and accomplishing so much more than I did. You definitely would have been a much better person then I was. Now I'm trying to learn from you. I was also looking forward to dressing you in really cute dresses and combing your hair. Wow did you have a beautiful hair! Oh ya I also wanted to ask you if you would always sleep with that bear I put in your casket. Mommy tries every night to sleep with mine. That bear that you have is me, and the one I have is you. Notice that the little one is me and the big one is me. That's because now you have to take care of me. Watch over me and guide me in the right direction. Give me strength to overcome this traggic life change. Help me to become not only a good moter but also a good wife, sister, daughter, and friend. I need you to be with me by my side everyday until that glorious day comes when I can hold you in my arms and never let you go. Until then you will always be in my heart, thoughts, voice, dreams, and prayers. I love you my little "Momacita's". Sleep well and I will see you in my dreams! Hugs and kisses always! XOXOX

Well good night honey. I hope you had a good day with all your friends. I spent most of my day at my aunts house and it is not getting easier. My aunt is lost and my cousion are still in shock, i dont think that any of us have excepted it. Theses things are so unexplanable. I agree with mommy, i see babies and get mixed up. and for some reason i am upset that i cant have babies ever again and that this happened to our family and to me. I love kids and cant understand why at such a young age i am dealing with this. and to top it off nun of my problems have gone. i am lost. We all are, and with the holidays come and your mommy's birthday we do need you to watch over us more then ever. I need you to give me the strenght to see lilly and want to be close to her with out the thought that something may happen. i feel like i distance myself from people when i get hurt so i wont get hurt anymore. i cant do this. But after all thats happen i just am so num. In all baby i miss you deaply and wanted to send some love so here we are the moment i fell in love with you. My favorit picture. muah Camille

Hello my precious honey! I hope you had a great day in Heaven playing with all your angel friends. Today we registered your brother for basketball and your sister for cheerleading. I can't believe how time as gone by! We also took them to that new place Kidz Zone. That was kind of hard cause there was a bunch of babies. Last night was a rough night I can't stop blaiming myself for your death. I still feel that I could have done somethig different. But now you are our precious guardian angel looking out for all of us. Please give us all strength and guidence. Look down on us all and send us lots of hugs and kisses. I can't believe it will be thanksgiving in five days. I would have given you everything we would be eating. You would have loved the turkey. I'll make sure to send you some. My birthday is in ten days, please be by my side all day. I don't mean to be selfish and want you all to myself that day but I know I will need you. I love you and miss you so very much and can't wait for that day where I can hold you in my arms and never let you go. Lots of hugs and kisses from us all! Muah xoxox

Hi my little pumpkin. I had the longerst day a work ever. I had to do a pku and and all i could think about was you and those little feet, i also have a new guy and all he can talk about is is baby that was born just one week before you left. Man i want to just  slap him and say SHUT UP!!!!!!!! i dont want to hear about his baby and how fun she is.......... I am still hastal about you and then me not being able to have anymore babies and now my Uncle. Plus my whole office gives me a hard time about missing works so much. I just want to flip out on them, the last thing i need is to deal with them. Like i want my family to die so i can miss work or want to go thought surgury to miss, What the hell????? how can they be so dumb. and baby my boss is this coldest person ever. She frecks me out. She could care less about what i am going though. I was told today i have to draw kids and i DONT want to and i refuse to poke a baby, they are nuts.!!!!!!!!! i havent had time to look around for anything to give you so i made this for you and looked at all the memories in it. Man how i miss seeing you in the kitchen. Looking at me and saying get me!!! You would let me kiss and hug you for hours. well i wanted o send my love. You have my heart and my uncle. Take care honey and watch over us...........MUAH

Well today was kind of your three month mass. I haven't been to the church since your one month mass. It was pretty hard for me. I tried so hard not to cry, but I just couldn't hold them back. I couldn't stop thinking about the day of your funeral. Your grandma Della said that you even brought us all to come to church. She says we should go at least every Saturday or Sunday. I would love too but it's just so hard for me to be in that church. I can't take away the image of you in your casket and everyone around us crying.
Today your uncle Joseph told us he put up your picture and cross up with your cousin little Joe's picture and cross, and the plant that he has by it started growing towards your picture and then split down the middle and grew little pink flowers all around it. He was so amazed! You truly are and always will be a glorious angel. It makes me so proud to know that I had an angel in my presence. I can't believe Thanksgiving is next week. It's not going to be the same without you in our lives. I'm so not looking forward to Christmas. I just want this year to be over. Hoping for a better year to come. Christmas day will be your four month anniversary. May you be showered with lots of love and presents. Give us strenght and guide us through the hard days. Visit us in our dreams, hold and kiss us all night. Send us all your angel hugs and kisses. You always be in our hearts, thoughts, dreams, prayers, and voice. We love you mommas! Never let us go!!! Muah

Well honey today is your mass and i am not going to make it. It has been a hard day for me and seems like one thing happens after another. You will always be in my heart. I miss you more then any word can say and wish i could have been there. I hope in the time we have been apart you have had a nice days in heaven. I am at a loss for words. I am just so num and it seems like i am going though the motions with no feeling. Thanks Giving is around the couner and i am not one bit excited. And i LOVE LOVE LOVE the holidays. But this year it will not be the same. I am missing a necie, an ucle,  and my cat that was like my kid. What i am suppost do with all this change, well i dont know!~!!!! I guess i will just take it one day at a time and see what life thoughs my way next. I wanted to send you my love and give you this pie cause  pumpkin is one my favorits. I hope you injoy it. Have a great nice my little pimpkin>>>

                                                                                                   Love Camille

Good night angel! Mommy and Daddy Love and Miss you so very much. We hope your having a wonderful time in Heaven with all your beautiful angel friends. Your brother is doing a lot better, they finally put him on antibiotics.
Not a day goes by that we don't stop thinking about you. You are always talked of and thought of. You will always remain a big part of our lives. We will never forget how much you brought this family back together. Sweet dreams, good night and we love you. Visit us in our dreams and send us all your angel hugs and kisses! XOXOX Muah!!

Good morning angel, have fun in Heaven playing with all your angel friends. Watch over us all and give us strength and guidance! We are always thinking of you. Watch over your brother too he is sick. He miss's you very much! Always in our hearts, thoughts, and prayers. Big hugs and kisses "Momacita!"

Good night mommas sleep well in those big fluffy clouds! Make sure to visit us in are dreams and give us a bunch of angel hugs and kisses. Watch over us all. Give us strength and guidance. Have fun with all your angel friends in Heaven. We love and miss you very much! Always in our hearts. Hugs and kisses always!

Good morning angel! Your auntie and I kinda got into a little argument over the phone due to me being selfish. I lent her some shirts to wear to her uncles rosary and funeral and on Saturday I asked if I could get them back to wear on for that evening. Not thinking like I know how I upset her. I shouldn't have asked to get them back the day after that horrible day. That is the last thing she is thinking about. She is having a hard time and is just trying to be there for her family. Camille I just want to let you know I am truly sorry and really appreciate everything you have done for me. I wasn't trying to fight with you or upset you. That is the last thing I want to do.  I want to be here for you at this very difficult time. I hope you can accept my apology and we can move forward from this stupid fight. I truly enjoy you as my friend and sister-in-law. You are a wonderful person who I know would be there for me when needed. I'm sorry I was not there for you when you needed me. I really hope this stupid fight push's us back to what we used to be. I know I have my hard, selfish moments and I really need to stop doing that. There are days where I just wish she was here to make things all better. But deep down in my heart I know that will never happen. Again I am truly sorry for my stupidity and hope we can be like we where! I love and miss you precious angel, have a wonderful day in Heaven on those big fluffy clouds with all your beautiful angel friends. Please give your daddy and I strength and guidance to get through this. Watch over us all. And tell your auntie that momma is truly sorry. Love you "Momacita" lots of hugs and kisses!

Hello my sweet angel! Your grandma is not feeling well, please watch over here. Hold her in your angel arms and make her feel better. Give her the strength she needs for each day. Whisper in her ear and let her know she is going to be ok! Send her all your love, hugs and kisses.
Mommy is having a hard week. I can't stop thinking about you and how much I need you in my life. You were the one who finally made my life feel as if it were complete! I go to work everyday with nothing but heartache. Walking through those halls is the hardest thing for me. The memory of you in my arms, so helpless. I hate myself because I could not do anything. I felt has if I let you down. I felt as if I needed to do something. Every day I live with the pain and suffering that I couldn't save my precious baby. My biggest dreams were to become a pediatric surgeon and I have been given the opportunity to do so, and I don't think I have the willpower. Just being around babies is so hard on me. I try so hard not to cry, but the tears I can not hold back.
Today at work I got a phone call, not on my cell phone, but on my work phone the same phone that I got called on the day you stopped breathing. I never get phone calls at work, so that moment my heart dropped and my world started to crumble all over again. The worst was going through my head. Tears started coming down my face and I relived that horrible day all over again. I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't think I have the strength and courage to fulfill my dreams. Because I'm constintly thinking my dream will become a nightmare all over again. I relive that day every time I walk through that hallway each day for five days. I just wish there was something I could have done. Paid more attention, maybe God sent me a sign and I just didn't see it. I beat myself up every day, and take my frustration out n everyone else. I do so and know I shouldn't, but I know if I don't take my hurt and frustration out on everyone else, I'll take it out on myself. And I know I have two other kids I have to live for. Also I know that I would never have the opportunity to be with you and hold you in my arms again. Please give me strength and guidance to better myself and live my life day by day. Appreciate the fact that I still have my two other beautiful kids to watch grow and accomplish and excel. Visit me in my dreams and whisper in my ear to let me know your doing ok. Tell me you love me! Send me as much angel hugs and kisses as you can! Watch over your daddy, brother, sister, all your grandmas and grandpas, all your aunties and uncles, and all your cousions and friends. Enjoy your beautiful life in Heaven with all the glorious angels. Please don't ever forget me. I will never forget you, you will forever be in my heart, thoughts, dreams, and prayers. I love you momacita. Big hugs and kisses!

Here is you birthday cake honey. Injoy it, and share with the other angels. Hope you day was great. I love you very much honey.  6 months old wow. Be good angel and watch over your parents. sending you some love. Auntie Camille

Hi my sweet girl. HAPPY 6 MONTHS! I love you. I can't give you the picture I would like now cause I am not home. Once again thank god my phone has internet. I could not live with out it. I must have looked at you 30 times today and your pictures never get old. I said my good byes today and could not believe he was in the same room as you. I feel like the black cloud, first you then my cat of 21 years then my god father. Man as I sit in this dark room hidding from the world, I can't understand it. I bet you would be sitting and getting ready to crawl. And getting ready to have a sleep over with me. Did you that I almost took you home for a sleep over one time! And mommy was going to let you. Was so ready. But I don't live alone know and didn't want to chance waking others if you woke up crying! Stupid me! I should have took you and loved you all night! We would have had a good time. I told my uncle to find you and keep you safe. And he will! Tell him your milly's baby, that what he called me milly! That was my only nick name and it stuck! I can't believe this. 6 months and beautiful wings! Visit mommy and daddy they miss you like crazy! Tell mommy I have had you so close that my pain has been bearable. You have not left my side. Thank you baby. I think that I have not really taken this in. They are right I am still hurt from you. Too have to take in two, well I just can't do it. I am not strong enough. I keep putting it off as if it didn't happen. Not excepting it. I love you honey and with everything going on you are still first on my mind for some reason. I just miss you. I am starting to think your uncle might take away my internet cause of how much I use it. He thinks I have not let go and maybe making myself sick with how much I am on this site. But he know what it means to me. I hid just to write this. So I could talk and get it out and send you all my love on your birthday! I hope you goti to eat cake in heaven, and got lots of love. I miss you more then my words can say, auntie Camille

My precious angel I can't believe that you are six months in Heaven. Oh my how time is flying! I wish I could see how much you have grown and accomplished things. All the angels are so lucky to be celebrating your sixth month birthday with you. May your day be filled with lots of love and joy!
Today at work one of my co-workers took in her eight week old son and everyone was aughing and oohing. Saying how beautiful he was and how much hair he had. I tried so hard to hold back my tears, but the main was to much. It brought back memories of you. Just not that long ago was I going through the same thing. Everyone aughing and oohing and saying how beautiful you are and how much hair you had. I had to leave and go to the locker room and let it all out. I wanted to be truly happy for her, but just couldn't! I just didn't think it was far. I questioned and questioned why? Why me, why her? So much of me wants to believe in God and believe your in Heaven and well taken care of. But there are parts if me that just don't. I do beacuse I want to know that you are in the most beautiful place you could ever imagine. I just wish that we had answers! I finally stopped crying and calmed down. Today was just not the day to see a baby! I've also been thinking about your aunt. She has gone through so much in her life. I wish I could take away the pain and suffering she is going through right now. She is so strong! She has gotten me through the roughest part in my life and I wish I could do the same. She needs you to guide her and give her strength. Hold her in your little arms and whisper in her ear and let her know everything is going to be Ok. Time will heal, but memories will always remain. Also whisper in your daddy's ear when hes at work. Let him know you are safe, happy, and you miss him dearly. Give your brother and sister big hugs and kisses and visit them in their dreams. Come to me in my dreams and let me hold you and kiss you all through the night. Guide us all and give us strength to live each day! You are and always will be in my thoughts, prayers, voice, and in my heart. You will never be forgotten. Lots of hugs and kisses baby girl. Happy six month momacita!

Hi my sweet Angel. I can't even believe this! First my baby girl and now my god father and close uncle. My pain is so unbearable. I am lossing my faith. What am I to do? All I can do is cry and refeel all the hurt I already had. It hasn't even been 3 months what the hell?!? I just finish writtng you how lucky I was. What happen? Just as I signed my name I got a call from your uncle, I didn't answer. I was to lost in my ownen world with you and the other angels! Then my mom ran into Kaylas room and was frecking out! She told me she talked to your uncle and that my uncle was dead! That he was found on the floor and not responding. Everyone was so lost. My heart is still broken from you. I got to see him. It was ok but not the same peacefulness as you. My aunt is in pain and my cousins are in true SHOCK! I can say nothing to help once again. Baby please send him my love and let him know I will never forget the way he called me milly, and the bond we shared!god how I will miss you both. Why this has happened I don't know. Baby look over me, take care of me, hold me and shine your light bright for me. Thank you hope so much from your sympathy this is truly the worst year of my life. Love you angel! Stay close to my uncle, aunt Camille

Hi baby I just wanted to let you know that your auntie Camille needs you to be there for her. She just lost one of her family members, and is taking it really hard. The loss of you is still hard for her and now something like this has to happen. Give her strength and lots of hugs and kisses. She needs you! I love you and miss you very much! Have fun playing in those fluffy clouds!! Hugs and kisses always muah!

Hello angel mommy just got off of work and the first thing I had to do was come to your page. I've been thinking about you a lot this week and been really grumpy to your daddy. It's just so over whelming without you. Every where we go someone has a little baby. There are days where I just can't accept the fact that your physically gone from my life. It's not far! I just wish we could have had a sign or done something different. We really needed you in our lives. You accomplished so much in such a little time frame. I can only imagine what you could have done within the years of your life.
Everyday I wonder what you are accomplishing, how you look, and act up in Heaven. I always say Kadence would be doing that or Kadence did that. I'm so tired of wondering why? Why me, us? What did we do to deserve this. I think that's why I have been having such bad days. I don't mean to take it out on anyone at all. But I'm trying my best to be strong and happy for you, your daddy, your sister, your brother, and myself. I know you would want me to be happy and go on with my life. Because I know that's what I would want for you! Thank you for watching over us all, and giving us all your angel hugs and kisses.
The other day daddy got on your page and tried to right you, but it was just to hard. He knows that every night he prays to you and you hear him. He asked me "How do you guys to that"? I told him "It comforts me to know that I'm not the only one who has lost a child, and that time will heal" By creating this web page it has released a lot of burden from my heart. I know I will always hurt but this page will always let me know that you will never be forgotten. I want everyone to know who you are and how special you are. I hope you are having fun with all your new Angel friends. Make sure to visit us all in our dreams. I love you my little Momacita's. Forever in my heart, thoughts, prayers, dreams, and voice! Have a great rest of the day!!

Well Baby girl you truly watched over me today. First off i got to work on time and didnt want to slap everyone that i work with, You kept Haylee and Kayla safe and loved. Second you waited until i was at work warm and safe, then gave me my wish and made it Snow. It was so perfect. I sat by the window and watched it as i work, and by your doing or luck, it  was so slow i was able to just look out the window for a whole hour. WOW!!! That never happens. I also got news that a new person will be taking over our back lab and she loves me so i will draw blood more then work the front. I was so happy. And mommy is right, i really do live for your page. So much i went to the bathroom and lite your candleing. I was saving this big one for a sepical entery and i belive this is it. This candle was the leader of all the candles in the movie and i believe deeply that your light leads all of us. You have done such a good job, jsut like mommy said. Our lifes are so different. We miss you yet we are all so close it is kind of NUTS!!! I got to see you today and give you my kisses. Hope you get them.  This was before i read your mommy's letter. Boy did that make me cry. Sometime words cant do justis and other times they just hit so close to the heart. We have come so far and i do think of myself as your mommy's big sister and in that name, it is my job to protect her and take away as much pain as i can. Like your daddy and his brother, they would die for eachother. So when your mommy made this page i was a way for me to vent, share my sarrow, and heal what was not from my baby sister that i never got to protect. She was only 2 days older then you. God how i loved her for not knowing her for very long. Just like you. If i could get on line at work i would proably loss my job  for as much i visit you. But like i said,"I cant help it". Your my angel, and have been sence i held you. So baby watch over us when you can and have fun in heaven, you are always thought of. Take care of your parents, send them both love. And tell mommy that if she needs anything, anything i will be there to help. Not cause of your passing but because of the love you Shared with us. Love you sweet pumpkin.

                                                                              Auntie Camille Muah!!!!!

Good Morning my baby! You have the best view ever today. Play with all the Angels in the snow.Make a really big snowman and have the biggest snow ball fight with all your angel friends. Shower your daddy with lots of Angel hugs and kisses. He misses you very much. He is and always will be the best father, husband, son, and friend anyone could have. He is also the strongest man I could ever know. Visit him in his dreams to let him know you are in the best hands possible. Watch over him and give him guidance. Give your auntie Camille lots of hugs and kisses too. She lives for this web site. The other day we were at your cousin Haylee's school playing turkey bingo and she was on her phone looking at your page. She has been such an awesome friend. I want to thank you for bringing us together and making her my other guardian Angel. Camille I'm sorry things were not so great in the beginning, and something like this had to bring us together. But my daughter knew what she was doing and everything turned out great. I want to thank you for everything. You have been so supportive and understanding. My angel is in Heaven happier then ever knowing she accomplished her purpose of life. I will deffenitly hold you to getting me away, and using your shoulder to cry on!
Angel some days are very hard and others are barrable. You make me strive to live my life to the fullest. I know you would want me to be happy and strong for our family. I can't wait to hold you in my arms and play with you and give you all the hugs and kisses possible. I love you my sweet angel! Have a great day in the beautiful snow. Muah!
Oh brother just woke up and the first thing he said was "Where's my sister"? He too misses you very much. Watch over him and guide him. Show him how to be a good boy. Send him too lots of hugs and kisses. Visit him as much as you can. I know you probably are a busy little angel. He sends you his love also!

Hello sweet girl, i hear you have a new cat to play with. She is the best kindof kitty black and fluffy. We miss you baby. and today i went into the bathroom and put in some lotion cause my hands were dry, i did not look at the bbottle i just put it on and left. We were on out way to a movie and i was in a rush out the door. Well as i sat in my chair i kept getting this familar smell and it was like no ohter. I know what it was i just didnt know where it was comeing from. It was the sweet smell that filled my lungs and heart the day we bath you and dressed you. The whole room smelled of it. but today was different the smell fallowed me. and i kept look for more. Were you with me this afternoon? or was it the lotion i put on that may have been yours or was i both? i dont know but i was glade to have you. I start work tomarrow wish me luck, i cant say that i am happy to go. I miss you and dont want to face the hurt of the ER. but i love when poeple talk about you. I like to listen and if i get a chance i say lots of good loving things about you. I sit here even wouldering what i am doing. I want so much to work in pedis but am scarded to relive what happen to you. That day you left us at the hospital, you took a peice of me with you and you left your love behind. I have your love and i dont want anymore pain. but a hope of as each day passes we will be closer to seeing each other agian. I still want you to watch over your parents and keep them safe, life is hard but with an angel should get a little better.  Send them your love, send it so strong that they tell me there dream and just how real it was. well my little peach i better get to bed, I got work at 6:30 and not happy about it. keep me close though the day and remeber share those dreams......... we long to see you everynight.........loving you more each day............................Camille