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Freddie Uncle Martinez
 
well honey, i have to admit i dont get on very often. i like to deal with things in my own way and i try and talk to you in my own way through my prayers, dreams and in thought.  I have really been thinking about you alot lately. I kinda have been going through alot and i am begging you to help me deal with everything.  I truly believe you are an angel and you were taken from us for a reason.  Today i dealt with something i knew was inevitable.  I was really hoping it would come a ittle later on but it didnt.  I woke up at work to a call of a 17 month old baby girl who was in cardiac arrest.  baby instantly you were the first thing that came to mind. i drove faster to the call then ive ever drove. i rushed and was really distraught.. upon our arrival the baby was dying on us, she was blue in just a pamper laying on her back. i had to pick her up and try and bag her(give her oxygen).. once i picked her up i had her  exactly as i held you when i carried you into the hospital and all i saw was you baby, i started crying and actually had trouble functioning but i knew these parents depended on me and my crew as much i depended on my firefighter brothers. Baby she had spiked black hair and was your size.  it was so hard.. i know we did our best like they did with you but she passed away.  I am kinda struggling with it but i will get back on the firetruck and take the next call whether it be a baby a grown man or just a drunk because i know i dont want anyone to feel the pain we felt when you left us.  Baby i thought if anyone knew what this was like it was you.  You will never be out of mind or heart.. You truly have become eternal and i miss you so much. my brother misses you so much, my wife, hope and of course everyone else.  i love you so sos so much. please know i will always have you in my heart.. you are my angel guardian and strength. thank you and i love you!!
always and forever with love your uncle freddie
Camille
 

Hello my sweet girl, just dropped in to say i love you and you are on my mined. There is not a moment that i dont wish you were here. To see you and hold you and smell you one more time, but that is not life and no matter how hard i wish it will not happen. So please stay close like you have and vistit me in my dreams. Send me that love you gave me when we first meet, it helps me coop with this pain, my life is unside down and no matter how hard i try i cant get it upright again. If i have need guidence it is now more then ever. I miss you and wanted to send my love... muah

Hope, I knew to an exstent of what This baby was the best thing that could have ever happened to ALL of us. she made us whole. She was the last peice to our puzzle and now its gone agian. all we have left is memories and this page, to get us though what is killing use inside. My pain can be no where near yours and i needed help tp deal with life. I can imagine what you deal with daily. The words "she is watch over use" , and " she is in a better place"just dont give me peace. I try to make them but there is no way to force it. I myself wounder what she looks like and what she would be doing? she would be so big. Big enough for me to keep. lol  but like i said before thats not the case. And nomatter what i tell myself i cant understand it either. It like i told you before i loved her like my own and i only knew her 3months. But that 3 months was long enough to send me off the deep end.............. I can say nothing that i think might help because i myself think its crap.... she should be here with us not taking care of us. All i will tell you is i am on something to help the pain and so far it has helped but not made it heal like they say time does. I like you think i hurts more the longer she is gone. It is like the longer it is the more real it is and much more perminit. I believe now there is no other way to deal with it, drugs and talking is the only way. I tried it on my own and lost my sanity. Try going to the doctor and getting something all it can do is not work, or really help you out. You have been strong for way to long, its time you help yourself. Keep going day by day and together we will find a way to heal. stay strong for YOU!!!!!

Mommy
 
Hello there my precious angel. I hope you had a beautiful day in Heaven for Christmas with all your angel friends. You were with me the entire time. It was a very difficult day. Knowing I was not going to be able to see you open your presents for the first time. I bet you got so many great gifts. My only gift I wanted was to have you back in my arms and in my life again. Your Uncle Freddie and Aunt Camille gave you, daddy, and I a very beautiful gift that was wrapped especially for you. I cried the minute I saw that it had your name on it! It was a digital ornament that had all your beautiful pictures of you on it. Your Uncle Gabe and Aunt Apryl also gave us a gift for you. It was a picture frame of 2008, the year you were born, that also made me cry. But the best thing of all was the picture and poem that your Grandma Cindy took the time to make. It is so beautiful! Everything she said in the poem was so true!
Camille I know I have been having a very hard time. I've been trying so hard to be strong. But there are days like you said where you just don't want to move on with your life. I know I have other children I have to think about, but sometimes the depression just takes over and I don't know what to do with it. It has gotten so bad to the point where I have been taking it out on Andres. I don't mean to but I do! The other day I broke down and told Andres that I think I need to see a Phyciatrist, so I can get pascribed medication to take away the pain. Which I know nothing will take away the pain, but I at least know it will ease it. Everyday that goes by it just seems like it is getting worse not better. I beat myself up everyday! Thinking and asking waht I did so wrong to deserve something like this. If I could have done something different. Or if we could have just gotten a sign so we could have changed. That day when I got that horrible phone call, my daughter passing away did not cross my mind. I thought we were going to have to stay in the hospital for a couple of days and then be able to go home. We were able to go home, but not with our daughter. That day I relive! I am not strong and can't deal with this kind of pain!!!
I want to lwt you know that I am very glad I concieved my daughter when I did, she brought you and I together and gave us the best sisterhood relationship any person would die for. I also want to thank you in so many ways for being here for me, Andres, and my kids. Also for being such a great Aunt to my daughter then and now!
So my little Mamacita have a wonderful night, sleep tight and sweet dreams. Don't forget to visit me in my dreams and whisper sweet nothing in my ear. Send me all your angel hugs and kisses always. Always in my heart, thoughts, prayers, dreams, and voice. You will never be forgotten. Give us all strenght to live our lives day by day. I Love You! XOXOX
Camille
 

Hello my sweet girl, i wrote you this huge letter at work and it never posted. So here i am yet again writing. I hope your days have been great in heave and that from time to time you look in on us. Your mommy has been having a hard time and it worries me, yet i cant help cause i have been having a hard time. I would never ever think i could get depressed yet i was so bad that my family around me noticed it. I did not want to admitt to such a thing and lived like this for a while until it got so bad i couldnt live my daily life. I would cry, and not want to get out of bed not want to talk to my family, was pushing my girls away and wanted to just disappear. I finally went to the doctor and got help and so far they have worked wounders for me. i am able to live my normal life again. man how i miss you so much. I never understood how bad i took your lose. I can only think of the pain your parents must go though ever day. This is way to much for one person to take on alone and want to tell hope that my pills trully helped me, i may not be here if not for them. I want you to know i am here to talk if you need to and will answer any questions you may have about them. but they work!!!!! i see you and the pain in youe eyes and heart and want to help but know there is only so much i can do for you. I am telling you this is what worked for me, I was BAD hope>> the lose of this angel killed me inside and i could not get it out, and when i phone and lab top cut me from writting to her , i started to bottle it all inside and got worse fast. I hated the world. but i really did, no joke. lol at least now i can think and live some what of a normal life. this baby was so special to me and i want to thank you for having her. she lives in my heart each and everyday. though i may not be able to wirte like i use to, I want to everyday. I can not say enough how proud i am of you and andrew. You have come such a long way. I have you in my prayer and am always here to talk.

     WATCH OVER MOMMY SWEET GIRL............ MUAH     AUNT Camille

Mommy
 
Well tomorrow is Christmas and I wanted to give you a little something. I'm doing it today cause I don't know when our stupid internet is going to work! I also wanted to wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I know that my Christmas would be a lot more merry if I had you here with me to celebrate. I know you are here and always will be I just wish that I could hold you in my arms and never let you go. I have been such a grouch this month. I'm really trying to enjoy the holidays for your daddy, sister, and brother. I hope you are having so much fun in Heaven with all the snow and your little angel friends. Don't forget to make snow angels in the sky so I can see them. I hope you really enjoyed the snow man that your uncle, cousin Haylle, and brother made. Be with us and celebrate this Christmas. Watch over us all and guide us and give us strength so we can have a better year. I love you my little Momacita's. Always in my heart, thoughts, dreams, and voice. Sending you lots of hugs and kisses from us all! XOXOX
Mommy
 
Good morning angel. Sorry it's been a couple of days since I've been here to visit you. Our computer was down. It was so hard not having the internet so I can write to you! Last night was a hard night for me. I got a little emotional. You were on my mind so much more than usual. I can't believe it will be Christmas in four more days. I got you a Christmas stocking and I'm going to decorate it really pretty just for you. You are a special place in my heart. I think of you every day. I blame myself a lot for your passing and I really believe I could have done something to prevent it. So that is I am going to see a  Phyciatrist. I believe it will help me with closer. I know though it will never make me forget you. You shall ever remain in my heart and my thoughts. Stay with me in my dreams always, and don't forget to send us all your angel hugs and kisses. I love you "Momacita". Have a beautiful day! XOXOX
Mommy
 

Good morning honey! Hope your having a fun day with all the snow. Make sure you and your little angel friends bundle up and stay warm. Please wrap your beautiful angel wings around Daddy and his co-workers today. They had to drive to Los Alamos in a big truck. When Daddy gets home were going to make you and your friends a really big snow man! Don't forget to make lots of snow angels in the sky so everyone can see them. Give all your friends a big hug and kiss form us all. We love and miss you so very much! You are always in our hearts and our thoughts. Love you "Momacita".
Mommy
 

Hello angel! Hope you are enjoying the beautiful snow. Make sure to make a really big snow man with all your beautiful angel friends. Mommy misses you so much and wishes you could be here to enjoy the snow with us all. Remember that we all love you very much and you will always have a special place in our hearts. I bet your auntie Camille is so excited for the snow. She always ask's you to bring snow. Have a fun filled day today and always! Hugs and kisses. Muah!
Mommy
 

Mommy just wanted to say good night and sleep well on those big, white, fluffy clouds of yours. I also wanted to ask you to make sure and be right there by your daddy's side for his big test tomorrow. He's trying out for the Fire Department and he needs all the support he can get. And your his biggest support ever. I know with you by his side he will do well. Visit him in his dreams and let him know you are doing good and are well taken care of. And some day we will all be together again. Daddy is trying very hard to be the best Father he can be. He has you to thank for that. You were and angel sent from God to make this family realize how much family and life it's self is very important. You again reunited this family and made us whole again. The only thing that is and probably never will be again is our hearts. When you left you left an empty place in my heart. But you also opened my heart to understanding that I am so greatful to have such a beautiful angel looking after me. So sleep well my little angel. Mommy loves you with all of her heart and forever will. Till we meet again. Lots of hugs and kisses!!
Mommy
 

  Sister, Mommy, Daddy, & Brother             Aunt Camille, Kayla, Haylee, & Uncle Freddie
Good morning my beautiful angel. I'm so sorry that I didn't visit your page yesterday. It was such a hectic day. I talked to you all day yesterday in my mind and heart. I can't believe you turned seven months old in Heaven yesterday. I hope you had a fun filled day! I bet you have gotten so big. Your hair must be so long. Oh how I was looking forward to doing lots of pretty things with that beautiful black hair! I'm sure your are even more of a fatty. You sure did love to eat! The food up there is probably amazing! Your daddy, sister, brother, and I all took a picture for Thanksgiving, so we can give them out as Christmas cards. I so wish you could have been in the picture (physically i mean) I know you were there in all of our hearts. But you would have made it even more beautiful. I'm going to send you one of all your family. You are in every single one of them, because you have a special place in every single one of our hearts and minds! For Christmas I'm going to make you a special stocking and hang it up for everyone to see. I so want to make every holiday special, just for your sister and brother, but its so hard without you. Like I said though, whats making me move forward is having you always in my heart, thoughts, dreams, prayers, and voice. You will always live on as long as I'm alive! Oh ya make sure not to forget to have a blast making snow mans and having snow ball fights with all your special angel friends. Give them all our love as well! Today I would like to go see if your brick that we got to get place in front of the Virgin Mary is ready. I'm so excited for that! I will make sure to do everything to remember you. Not only me but the whole world. You are so beautiful I just can't resist. Everybody needs to see what a true angel looks like. You my honey a deffinetly one! So make it a great day! We love and miss you so so so so (if I could I would go on and on with the word so) much! Hugs and kisses from us all!

      Aunt Apryl, Lilly, & Uncle Gabe
Mommy
 

Hello my precious angel. Today grandma Della and grandma Cindy put up their Christmas lights. I hope they are shinning bright so that you can see them. I know they do not shine as bright as you though. Christmas just isn't going to be the same. Every year it will be an anniversary. I just want this year to end already. Make sure to show all your little friends where we live. The house looks beautiful and they did it all for you. I hope you had a great day. I think of you always. You will always remain in my heart. Make sure to visit us in our dreams and whisper in all of our ears. Have a beautiful night, sweet dreams and I love you. Lots of hugs and kisses!
Mommy
 

Good night my beautiful angel. Sweet dreams and sleep well with all your angel friends. I hope you had a great day in Heaven on those fluffy white clouds. I hope you had a fun filled day in the snow. You probably made a great snowman with all your friends. I bet your auntie Camille was happy to see the snow. She loves it when it snows! Christmas is almost here and I can't wait till its over. It will never be the same! I know you will be with us. In our hearts, thoughts, and prayers. That will never end. You will and shall ever remain a part of our hearts forever. I wish I would have stayed home with you that day. Hold you in my arms and never let you go. Tell you I love you and give you as many Eskimo kisses as possible. If there was anything I could have done I would have. You have no idea how much I beat myself up about that dreadful day. I tried to be the best mom. You made me become a better person and again I want to thank you for that. This family is as close as can be. We shall remain close just to keep you happy and to let you know you accomplished what you were sent down here for. I know you are happy in Heaven and that you are well taken care of. You have the best love anyone could ever ask for. I pray when that day comes that I have the opportunity to be with you again. Till then I will continue to be a better mother, fiance, daughter, sister, and friend. We all love and miss your dearly. Forever with me. Sending you plenty of hugs and kisses. Make sure to share them with all your angel friends. I love you "Momacita"!
Mommy
 

Good night angel, sweet dreams, and God Bless. Sleep with us all in our dreams. Whisper I love you and send us lots of hugs and kisses. We love and miss you very much. Till we are all together again. Love you my little "Momacitas". XOXOX

Mommy
 

Well today was your remembrance service and it was beautiful, but hard. Seeing your beautiful picture on that screen was very hard for us all. I was so excited to receive your Christmas ornament. It wasn't a picture of you though, it was a beautiful white dove with your name on it. The minute we got home we all put it on the tree. I hope you had a beautiful day in Heaven. Not a day goes by that we don't think of you. You are and shall ever remain in our hearts. You will never be forgotten. I love you my precious angel. Sweet dreams and sleep well. Visit us in our dreams and send us lots of hugs and kisses. Your sister and brother send their love, hugs, and kisses! Lots of hugs and kisses from me and daddy too. Muah!
Mommy
 

Hello my beautiful angel. Sorry mommy didn't light a candle for you this morning, I've been a little sick today. I still think of you all day every day though. Only a couple more days till I get your Christmas ornament. I'm so excited! Last night your daddy, brother, and I were at the mall and I saw my friend Samantha and her daughter and she was with her new born baby, and she reminded your daddy and I of you. She had so much hair that stuck up just like yours did. I got a little sad when I saw her, but tried so hard to show her that I was happy for her. I can only imagine how long your hair is now. I bet you have gotten so big! I've been a little grumpy lately, cause of the Holidays. I wish you could be here to open your gifts and enjoy all the good food. I know you will be able to have all the same things if not better in Heaven with all your new angel friends. All your angel friends are so lucky to have you in their presence. I know you will be with me in spirit and in my thoughts and heart. But it's just not the same. I try everyday to not be so selfish and want you back, but I just miss you so much. You completed my heart and made my life whole again. I know I need to be thankful for my family and the life I have now. You are looking down on us all and protecting us with your beautiful angel wings and sending us lots of hugs and kisses. You are and shall ever remain in my heart. I will never forget you or stop talking and thinking of you. I hope you have a beautiful night. Sleep with us in are dreams forever. Whisper in our ears whenever you feel the need. I will always be looking out for little signs that you are present. I hope someday I will have the privlage and the opportunity to be with you again and hold you in my arms once more, and never let you go. I love you my honey's. Sweet dreams and good night. Hugs and kisses always! XOXOX

Mommy
 

Hello beautiful angel, mommy just wanted to say how much I love and miss you! I hope you had a beautiful day. I can't believe you would be seven months old this month. I bet you have grown so much, especially your beautiful hair. Sunday we will be having a memorial gathering. I can't wait till I get your Christmas ornament. Almost the whole family got one, so your picture will be hanging on a lot of Christmas trees every year for the rest of time. Make sure to play nice with all your little angel friends. Watch over us all. I love you my little mommas. Lots of hugs and kisses! Always in my heart!
Mommy
 

Good night my beautiful princess! Mommy is so thankful for having you by my side, especially on my birthday. I hope you had a wonderful day in Heaven. This picture is one of my favorites. I love how peaceful you look. I also love that shirt. In the front it says I love daddy and on the back in a heart it says and daddy loves me. You had so much clothes. I just wish I had the opportunity to see you in them. When I get a chance I have this bag of clothes that I didn't wash (thank God) I smell it as much as I can. It smells just like you! I had one wish and one wish only, and for the first time in my life it wasn't going to come true! I miss you so much and still can't understand why you had to leave me so soon. I still needed you here to guide me in the right direction to become not just a better person but to also become a better mom. You are and always will be my guiding light. No matter how much I hurt inside without you by my side I know you are in such a beautiful place looking down on us all watching over us and giving us strength to live each day. I know you are more than well taken care of and you will be waiting for me when it is my time to be in the presence of God. Until then please watch over your daddy, sister, brother, and everyone else who has you in their heart. I love you like no other and always will! Sweet dreams, sleep well and God bless you. Sending you lots of hugs and kisses from all of us! XOXOX
Camille
 
Hay sweet baby today is Mommy's birthday and i can't even understand how she must feel. I know she misses you and talks to you everyday, so that make the day a little easier. This is one of my best memories of you and i want to share this picture with the world. You were in your bouncer and on the kitchen table, i walked in and looked at you and laughed, you where so cute and full of puff....... man it was every where. You dress reminded me of my girls. lol. they where always so puffy that there dress sat them up. I look at you and those eyes said pleeeeaaase get me. I held you and went on about your dress to you uncle. And of course you mommy was getting ready. That little hat was so dame cute and you face was saying what are they putting me in.... You looked like a doll and had the best dress that day, you where by far the cutes and not cause your mine because you where just such a good sport about it. and after your batismal at your party you left it on for a good while. I remeber telling you mom that you nana had you the whole time and just watched her and hope that she would put you down soon so i could get you. turns out she didnt, she held you close the whole time. that lucky girl! Then doll, this is the picture i see everyday i light your candle and the on i hold close to my heart, so what better thing then to share my memories of you with you mom, on her birthday. Each day the pain for you stays the same, some days are ok and some are just  bad. I am sure mommy will agree. Cause even on those good days your still in my thoughts and on the bad i just cant get over what happen to you........... so unfair. so misunderstood. and more pain then a burning fire. The pain in mt chest keeps me from breathing and the hurt in my throwt as if i have no voice. the tears follow like each finger is being ripped from me one at a time. the anger i have for my unanswered questions in endless. But i look for your lights and they lead me on steep at a time throgh this world you left behind. I wanted to SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your MOMMY and share one more life changing memory that her angel (YOU) shared with me. SO happy birthday HOPE make it a great one. Your angel is with you and i know she sends her love. SHE works so hard to show it. I dont now what it may be for you but as you know for me its the SNOW the 2 times i have asked her it has snowed, this page in my proof. She is all around us and living though us as if she was here.......... Keep praying and being the best mommy to her. Love you pumpkin............................................Aunt       Camille xoxoxoxo but mostly O's (kisses)
Mommy
 

My sweet precious angel, tomorrow is going to be so hard because the only wish I have for my birthday is you. For the first time in my life my birthday wish will not come true. So make sure you are by my side through out the day. Whisper in my ear and tell me how much you love me. Everyday I think of you and it is none stop. Today I was driving to my dentist appointment and I was looking at your picture that I have right in front of me and I wasn't paying attention to the road and I side swiped a lady's car. She got so mad at me. I didn't mean for that to happen at all but I just couldn't take my eyes off of your picture. I'm so thankful that nothing happened to her or her car. She was so upset with me and telling me off. I told what was going on in my life and she changed her whole attitude towards me. It's so amazing how you touch so many people, especially one's that didn't even know you. You are my world. You changed my life for the better. Thank you for all that you have done and all that you will do! I will never forget you, you will always remain in my heart, thoughts, dreams, voice, and prayers. I love you "Momacita"! Visit me in my dreams tonight and always. Great big hugs and kisses from us all. Watch over daddy, sister, and brother as well. XOXOX
Mommy
 

Good night my precious angel! I hope you had a beautiful day in Heaven. Today I set up the Christmas tree. It was really hard cause I was hoping that you would be right there by my side in your favorite bouncer, watching me put up all the pretty ornaments. Speaking of ornaments, the whole family will have a beautiful ornament of you on their Christmas tree. Berardenelli is making them in remembrance of you! I'm so excited to see it! I really really miss you and wish that everything was different. Not a day goes by that I don't think or talk of you. You are the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing when I go to bed. I have been praying to you every night. Hoping some day I can hear you praying back. Please angel visit me in my dreams and give me all the hugs and kisses you have. Watch over us all during these difficult times. Give us strength and guidance. I love you and you will always be so close to my heart. Give all your lovely angel friends a big hug and kiss from us all. Always in my thoughts, heart, voice, and prayers. I love you momacita, sweet dreams! XOXO Muah!
Mommy
 

I hope you had a beautiful day in Heaven on your first Thanksgiving day! You made your auntie so happy by making it snow. She really needed that. I bet your food was so delicious. I took your ashes over to grandmas house were all of your family was. We all took pictures as a family and it just wasn't the same. I really wish you could have been in the pictures, but I know you were there in all of our hearts, and thoughts. I hope you and your little angel friends had a blast in Heaven with all the snow. Make sure to build a really big snow man. Every day gets easier for me knowing you are in Heaven well taken care of. I just wish we could have had you here with us for the holidays and every day. I changed your page, I hope you like it! I miss you so much mommas, shine brighter then ever. So when I look up at the sky I know your right there looking down on us. Watch over us all and give us all the strength and guidance we all need. Remember we will always love and miss you dearly. You will always be in my heart, thoughts, dreams, voice, and prayers. Give all your angel friends a great big hug and kiss from us all. Love you momacita! Till we are together again! XOXOX

Camille
 
Happy thanks giving my little pumpkin. May you have a wounderful day in those clouds and let all this rain become snow. Thank you i know i was a lot of work for you to get all these clouds to come out for me. I woke up and first thing i did was look out the window and got my wish. I love you angel, and miss you more each day. It amazies me how much you truly listen to me. There is not a moment i dont feel you by my side. Play in the snow with all the angels and send them and there families my LOVE.... Thanks you my sweet baby for all you do and have done.......... LOVE YOU MUCH aunt CAMILLE!!!!!!!!!!!! i saved this for 2 months just for this day, Injoy.
Mommy
 

Happy Thanksgiving my beautiful angel! I wish you could be here, so I can feed you all the food and stuff you like a little turkey. But I bet you will have the most amazing food up in Heaven with all the other beautiful angels. Make sure to visit us through out the day. I'm sure you are going to have a pretty busy day eating and playing with your friends.
Today your Daddy, brother, and I went to visit the Virgin Mary. We took her roses. We were hoping to see your brick that Erica had bought for you, but it was to dark. We also put a dozen roses all around your beautiful pictures on your alter. Your candle is lit and it will remain lit all day. We love you and miss you dearly. We all know that you will be with us not only spiritually but in our hearts, thoughts, and prayers. Enjoy your day my little one. Watch over us and guide us through the days. Send us all your angel hugs and kisses. Till we are together again. Muah XOXOX!
Camille
 

Hi honey, i have not been able to write and i think everyone in the world knows how much i want to. Well as far as the masses go, sorry honey i just cant bare to sit through them. I love you baby but it is to painful. I barly make it though the day with out being reminded much less a whole mass. I hear little babies cry in my office and i just get so upset. I cry cause i dont want them to feel pain. When i think of you i think love and tenderness. I had to go to that church for my uncle and i was in the same spot that i was with you and they had him in the same place.  I am looking forward to you to your remeberance and the gift i will get and keep forever. I love christmas more then my birthday and to share somthing that special with you, well i could not ask for more.I have no have a chance to vistit any of the other angels, so please baby send them my love. Thanks giving is tomarrow and i am so thankful to have the ones i can one more year. I hope it snows, work your magic and show the world that pretty white blanket. I love you baby. Stay close to mommy and daddy these will be the hardest times. Sent them your love and comfort that your fine and sending them love. Have a good night angel. Love you much love baby, Aunt Camille

Mommy
 

Hello my gorgeous baby girl! Hope your having a great day in Heaven. I'm so excited to get your Christmas ornament from Berardinelli 's. They are having a remembrance service for all that as passed away in the year. Make sure to be with us by our sides that day. Today is also another mass for you from your grandma Cindy. I have such a hard time going into that church. It brings back memories of that horrible day. I'm going to go just so I can get closer to God so that through him I can get closer to you. I miss you dearly and everyday I just wish I could have you back. Hold you in my arms and love you till no end. When ever I feel the wind bowing I know its you sending me your kisses. When I look up to the sky at night and see the brighest star I know thats you looking down on me, and when I see the sun shinning I know its you all safe and warm. I love you angel, I hope you have a beautiful Thanksgiving! Send us lots of hugs and kisses. Muah XOXOX!
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